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Glee Fic: But I'm Here, Darling, to Enjoy the Party 
04 21 13
glee: ANDERBROS
Title: But I'm Here, Darling, to Enjoy the Party
Characters/Pairings: cisgirl!Blaine, cisgirl!Cooper
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/Warnings: none; cissexswap AU
Word Count: ~1,300
Disclaimer: Title is from "Hello" by Martin Solveig & Dragonette.
Summary: Blaine visits Cooper in LA and they go to a bar together.
A/N: Written for the anderson_bros minibang on LJ. Thanks Nikki for the beta work!

AO3 or Tumblr.


But I'm Here, Darling, to Enjoy the Party

"Cooper? Isn't that a guy's name?"

Cooper laughs, throwing her head back, like a shot out of a hair or toothpaste commercial, making Blaine grimace as she sips on her Sex on the Beach. She's contemplating on switching to a Long Island Iced Tea at this rate.

"Well, yes, but my parents were such rebels – hippies born in the wrong time period, really."

Blaine snorts, trying to picture her mother in flowery bell-bottom jeans and hair down to her waist. It doesn't really compute when her mother won't leave the house unless she's wearing her pearls.

"Excuse my sister – she's just bitter because our parents were high when they decided to name her Bumble Bee –"

"Okay, that's enough," Blaine interrupts, annoyed as she turns to face the (admittedly good looking) man Cooper was busy lying to. "Hello, my name is Blaine and her legal name is Colby – clearly, our parents aren't hippies, they're WASPs, if anything. She just wants people to call her Cooper because there's already a member named Colby Anderson in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences." She finishes with a grin as the man looks between them with a disturbed expression on his face.

"Right, uh. I think I see my friend over there," he stutters and cradles his beer to his chest as he leaves the bar.

Blaine finishes her drink and places it on the bar. "When you have a chance – a Long Island Iced Tea, please," she says to the bartender, tacking on a flirty smile.

"Blainey, why did you do that? I was acting, are you familiar with the term?" Cooper whines, making sure to glower.

Blaine rolls her eyes. "Yes, I did recently finish participating in a well-received production of Romeo and Juliet. Which you saw."

"My name will be Cooper soon enough. Once the parents stop looking offended every time I bring it up. 'We picked a beautiful name for you, Colby, why would you change it?'"

"Well, it is a tad insulting. At least you got a name that's a familiar girls' name. If anyone should be thinking about changing her name, it's me. Besides, you're over thirty years old –"

Cooper slaps a hand onto Blaine's mouth and thankfully she hadn't picked up her recently brought drink because she always falls backwards at Cooper's force. "Don't you dare," she hisses, eyes darting around the bar in case anyone might have heard (obviously not since people are busy with their own lives and the music is getting louder and louder by the hour).

Blaine rips Cooper's hand from her face and rolls her eyes. "If it makes you feel better, I feel like I'm eighty next to you," she says, eyeing the tight leather dress Cooper is sporting.

"That's because you're wearing a bow in your hair that I'm pretty sure was Nana's."

Blaine takes a long drink of her Long Island Iced Tea, choosing to ignore Cooper's comment.

"Are you pissy because we didn't go to a gay bar?" Cooper suddenly asks, making Blaine groan.

"No, I told you I'm very much enjoying the single life. I was hoping we'd go to a more laid back bar to talk – I didn't plan on being a weird wingman for your acting games."

"It's called training, B, I told you. You could give it a try or two to improve your skills."

"And I quote, 'Blaine Anderson brought Juliet to life in this interesting adaptation of the classic Shakespeare play. She evokes a strength and vulnerability to the character that is a thrill to watch,'" Blaine recites with a proud smile. "I think my acting skills are just fine."

"No one likes a cocky actress, Blaine."

Blaine opens her mouth to argue, but decides it's for the best not to, and just finishes her drink instead.

"You know," she finally says after a minute. "You can just not tell them and change your name anyway. They won't have to find out for a while. And they're always going to call you Colby, so."

Cooper gives her a sly smile. "Is that my baby sister being devious?"

Blaine turns to the bar again. "Another Long Island Iced Tea?"

"Do I need to buy you a leather jacket to go with the new attitude?"

"Yes, it's going on her tab."

"You better slow down, Blaine, aren't you a lightweight? I'm not carrying you back to my apartment."

"I was, until college happened." The drink is placed in front of Blaine. "Thank you."

Cooper brings a hand to her heart. "My little sis all grown up. Drinking alcohol like a pro and sneaking around the parents."

"Technically you're the one doing that, I'm just aiding and abetting."

"Yes, but who will the parents drill after it's all said and done?"

Blaine scowls and takes a sip of her drink, pleased that she's getting drunk enough to not taste the alcohol.

Cooper sighs. "Do you want to go to the bar across the street? They have couches."

Blaine smiles, pushing her drink towards Cooper. "Just finish that for me?"

"Hah, knew you were still a lightweight."

"Everyone knows that a Long Island Iced Tea is like a three for one deal," Blaine retorts. "And I was trying to be nice."

"You realized you were getting too drunk and this drink was a mistake."

Blaine glares as Cooper drinks the cocktail with a pleased smile on her face.

Just then a guy saunters over to them and Blaine gets an awful whiff of aftershave. She's too tipsy to think about schooling her face into one of politeness because it really is a nasty smell.

"Hey," he says, leering at Cooper and ignoring Blaine, which she's more than happy about. Perhaps it's the blue tights she's wearing that aren't screaming 'sex appeal' like Cooper's mini dress.

Cooper finishes her drink and flips her hair back. "Hey."

"You look familiar," he says and if Blaine had a dollar for every time someone said that in LA, she'd be able to pay for her college education by herself; nothing charms people into their pants more than this.

Cooper glances around and answers, "You probably saw me in that new adult film," in a low voice.

Blaine's jaw drops at the same time as the guy's. "Seriously?" he gapes, taking his time to look at her up and down.

"Yes – it's for lesbians, by lesbians. My partner, who is standing right next to you, is the light of my heart and soul. We feel we're doing the community a greater service by showcasing our pure and sexual love in hopes that they realize that they're capable of having what we have."

Blaine slaps a hand to her forehead as the guy whips his head to stare at her.

"No," Blaine says loudly and clearly, grabbing Cooper's arm. "You know, maybe acting is just a cover for you to live comfortably with and profit from your compulsive lying ways," she mutters under her breath as they walk outside the bar.

"Aw, Blainey, don't be upset, I was thinking of a legitimate way to get out –"

"Yes, telling a guy you do lesbian porn is a great way to get out of such a situation," Blaine says sarcastically. "Also, gross, Coop. Although if you threw in that it was incestual then maybe that would've scared him off."

"Nah, that probably would've excited him more, now that I think about it."

Blaine grimaces.

"Come on, sis, let's go to the other bar. We can order mozzarella sticks."

Blaine sighs, thoughtful. "I do like mozzarella sticks."

Cooper grins and takes Blaine's hand to lead her across the street.
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